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so long suckers
Monday, January 21, 2008: 5:33 AM
http://www.emilinapoe.blogspot.com/

this will be my last post here.
From the bottom of my heart impure
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Saturday, January 19, 2008: 7:39 PM



wow...it's sunday.i've loss track of time
anw!ystd was a fulfilling yet tiring day :)
we went to NLB to finish the dumb edward de bono
i found Edgar Allan Poe Full Collection of Poems & Stories.
&...haha!...erm...
only they know what i did. >_<
"hello edgar allan poe fan."
den 2 bras basah for "Art Enemy" or rather "Money-Gobbling-Shop" to buy art stuff
and than the bookstore [where i bought 2 books!^^ Anne Rice 'Violin' & The Exorcist]
for $9.50.it's old but in great condition.
anw,i love old unused books.i want to give them justice...for being a book.
worth reading for it's contents remains a secret between their covers...
woaah..what am i crapping?
we went to SMU[by that time im quite beat from the load im carrying]
the few art works are great.
but other than tt,it's utter NON-sense
lol!esp we tried to find the artwork in the toilet[or so they said...]
& i wanna push open the guys toilet[thinking the exhibition is inside;
when this dude open the door to see me standing infront.
utter rubbish.hey!jeanne!u didnt send me ur pix near the chandelier...can u send me?:D
i want to edit for u...
anw,the picture below[the 3 gothic pictures of me...] lol
it's lame...bt,the first pix is the first time i edited.
& than, faeezah saw it,& she said she want to edit for me.
so the one with the red cross at the hemns of the skirt is by her...
i find that the cross is gorgeous,but than...maybe a cross is not a gr8 ides[i prefer an inverted one,but NO.it's an insult to Christians,& i respect that]
so i color back the dress black.
now AJ said she want to help me edit some more...
wo0O...so i tell her,we'll edit some pictures & pass it around
edit & edit & edit till the point where u cant edit anymore ^^
arghhhhhh...*stretches*
im still tired.so much to touch-up on my basic drawing book -_-"
mr tan class drawing untterly suck,but it's a challenge :)
From the bottom of my heart impure
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: 4:41 AM



im so tired to the bones.shall update tmr when genie send me more pictures...


From the bottom of my heart impure
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Friday, January 18, 2008: 4:35 AM
picture post*

my arms can drop off if i do anymore drawing
but nevertheless,i find it quite effective


Edgar Allan Poe-In Youth I Have Known One

_How often we forget all time, when lone
Admiring Nature's universal throne;
Her woods--her wilds--her mountains--the intense
Reply of Hers to Our intelligence!_


I. In youth I have known one with whom the Earth
In secret communing held--as he with it,
In daylight, and in beauty, from his birth:
Whose fervid, flickering torch of life was lit
From the sun and stars, whence he had drawn forth
A passionate light such for his spirit was fit--
And yet that spirit knew--not in the hour
Of its own fervor--what had o'er it power.

II. Perhaps it may be that my mind is wrought
To a ferver [1] by the moonbeam that hangs o'er,
But I will half believe that wild light fraught
With more of sovereignty than ancient lore
Hath ever told--or is it of a thought
The unembodied essence, and no more
That with a quickening spell doth o'er us pass
As dew of the night-time, o'er the summer grass?

III. Doth o'er us pass, when, as th' expanding eye
To the loved object--so the tear to the lid
Will start, which lately slept in apathy?
And yet it need not be--(that object) hid
From us in life--but common--which doth lie
Each hour before us--but then only bid
With a strange sound, as of a harp-string broken
T' awake us--'Tis a symbol and a token--

IV. Of what in other worlds shall be--and given
In beauty by our God, to those alone
Who otherwise would fall from life and Heaven
Drawn by their heart's passion, and that tone,
That high tone of the spirit which hath striven
Though not with Faith--with godliness--whose throne
With desperate energy 't hath beaten down;
Wearing its own deep feeling as a crown.

[Footnote 1: Query "fervor"?--Ed.]
From the bottom of my heart impure
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008: 4:08 AM

*edited by emilina! XD lol...
looked unprofessionally photoshop-ped though... -_-
still have much to learn...
look ok from far but will improve on it next time
cz my eyes feels so sore now... *_*
shall not say the venue of which i took this picture. :)
[if u want to know than u should ask ^^ i will answer]




anw,shall start reading Anne Rice Blackwood Manor & the Visual Thinking book[such a bore]
cant wait for spaghetti tmr.no fish n chips or chicken cutlet.very oily :X urghh...
i was waiting for him to say it & he did!i drove him into telling me the truth instead of the cold shoulder that i don't think i deserve.the truth doesnt hurt that bad after all and when i saw the girl at school just now,i feel stronger.her attitude as she walked,well actually she stomped,by me,makes me look up to her & make me stronger than ever.WOW!

From the bottom of my heart impure
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eat back your words
Tuesday, January 15, 2008: 5:16 AM

From the bottom of my heart impure
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ugly me ugly everyone
Monday, January 14, 2008: 5:38 PM
i was half awake because of the argueement i heard in the living room between my mum n my sis.in my half-conscience i could still feel hurt at every word they threw to each other.but who do u think i side?

my sis.

bcz i feel that my parents are bullshitters.
they make me sick sometimes.
have i got the right to say that?
well i think yeah,because i've got the right to think
i grabbed my pillow & covered my ears out from the living hell
From the bottom of my heart impure
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zombie
: 4:43 AM
though after all the junk food i have yesterday,nothing seems to change.i could still feel the ribcage on my chest.but couldnt hear my heart beat.since it went away like you dissipating in thin air.


*anw,i've got GREAT news!!!i found where they sells The Umbrella Academy comic books by Gerard Way!!!it's at the comic shop where i went to seek justice for poor dusty Nee chee...*
*i want to hit myself for mumbling nonsense like "Osama have kidney failure" or "Osama owned an oil refinery & he's rich" or "I like Barrack Obama better".what's wrong with all my 'O-ama' today in Hist Of western art?im declared a lunatic.
From the bottom of my heart impure
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disappear now but come back later??
Sunday, January 13, 2008: 4:01 AM
urghhh...
im living a slob life...
a big fat loser's life...
wanna know what a big fat loser's life is like?
today is junk food day.
3 epok epok & a bottle of peach tea for breakfast.McSpicy meal for lunch & one of my bro's happy meal's nugget.Lays Sour Onion potato chips & more peach tea.
fried mee & fried fishballs which i just ate...

but nevertheless...i had fun playing monoploy with my cousin that came to my house.
and...i dunno.
drown myself in this starch and oil

anw...it's official.im gonna stuff myself with more sugar syrup tt i get fm Macdonalds tmr morning before sch.
yeah school start & im jumping up & down coz im a loser.
it's 9am till 2.50pm.
anw,back to hotcakes syrup,yeah.i got $0.
i dun expect any sympathy or anyone to give me food;coz i dun feel like eating.
i think today's starch is enough to last till tomorrow.haha.
anywayyy...i got to beg for this woman for her Popular card when i realised i had not enough money to pay for my $4.85 sketchbook.
art had always got me into trouble somehow,from almost being kicked out of the National Library to now-begging.
but i hope art will do me justice in the future.
damn everything.

now get lost...
From the bottom of my heart impure
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i'll tie myself to a giant kite & show you how to fly
Saturday, January 12, 2008: 11:08 PM
okay,don't change the channel now.i want to tell u something that happened to me last 2 months ago.just after i got Edward[i named my Vaio,Edward].i told this to my friend,inside the Land Of The Dead arcade game vehicle-since it's out of order so we just sat there- & she was chuckling & shaking her head.Saying that im unbelivable.

Back to the track.So i was damn excited that i got Edward.I moved out my old computer table to replace it into an easy study table that used to belong to my sis.I got out the old dusty ASL modem that i put at the cd compartment of the old computer table to plug into Edward.but than...

--Camera rolling back.As some might know,the old computer table is where my old good PC is.I had hardly any space to do my work.Just a space when i pushed back the keyboard.My table is always a mess.All sorts of garbage & also useful things.Well,as some might know,again,sometimes i kept food without knowing about it.Like the time i said that i kept my seaweed in my drawer so it's soggy.And also the half open oreo & the empty Crunch wrapper.So ants started to appear on my computer table.I don't really mind about the ants so i just let it be.

Months went on.It was in History Of Art class,when Kay were telling us about Dali's work;the one with the ant.& how dali symbolises ants with death.It was amusing to hear that.When i got home,to get ready to do my work,i stared at the line of ants.Examining them.Now no longer scared or shy away from me since i didnt seems to be a threat to them.That im just a silent occupant to this room.That i don't mind them carry their food,sometimes too big of a load for their small body,as they disappear amongst my disarray of stuff on the table.

Back to 2 months ago,i plugged the ASL Modem to Edward.& i realise that ants always came out of nowhere from the modem.Irritated now,i grabbed the vacuum to suck the ants off the modem.But as i was to plug it again,more ants came out from nowhere again.So again i suck it with the vacuum.This happens for a few minutes.I was hungry so i left it on the floor to eat my lunch outside.

When I came back,a whole army of ants where all aound the floor of my bedroom!it was swarming around,some looks even clueless to me.Like they didnt know where is their home or something.I let out a yelp & ran to fetch the insecticide spray.Armed with the 'shotgun',i started to aim it at the billions of ants.The modem right in the middle was quite unrecognisable in the mount of ants.

psssssttttt!!!pssssssssssssssttttt!!!
die all ants!die!breath in the fumes into your little hearts;me in anger
now i realised that the ants had build a nest for months in my ASL Modem!
damn you girl,how could you betray us,they cried.
u fed off on my food that i left on my table so now,who betrayed who?;i hissed...

i sprayed the ASL Modem too.getting rid of the ants took me an hour as more ants always manage to climbed out in the depths of the modem.The depths of the modem where they lay white eggs.


The modem cant survive all this mistreatments.Thus it failed to function...
forevermore!
From the bottom of my heart impure
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: 5:02 AM
lol.final edited by AJ!!!the fingernails is done by me though...i look...*shivers*
From the bottom of my heart impure
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i dont know;u tell me
Thursday, January 10, 2008: 4:22 AM
i trashed in bed
-i cant sleep at all last night
-it's all because of...

i waited for hours
-waiting to see the face that i've yet to see
-but the face never appears
instead there i stood
-in the rain
-with a blister on my foot
-stood for more than 2 hours
& now
-tell me
-am i the biggest idiot ever?
-how could i not cry?
-how could i pretend that im not hurt?
-maybe i wasn't fair to you either
-but-tell me-tell me now.

TELL ME!!!!!!!

what do you treat me as
From the bottom of my heart impure
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the ball hit the drain but not the pins...
Tuesday, January 08, 2008: 6:49 PM
my arm ache ache ache from bowling...hmm..
do hope uma n hud cud join us next time.
next time i wan to try pool^^
and than i still have not went to karaoke with Eja & her friends.
huhuhu...but it would be next next week before i could have money...


:( im disgustingly broke!!!i realised tt i overspent -_-
mainly when going out and i have to pay back for the ezlink i make


urgghhH!im left with 13 bucks to last till the 25th.
guess i'll eat the clay in ceramic class
or drink some acrylic paint or oils
i'll grab one of the red paint and squeeze out one huge gloob into my mouth infront of Mr Tan
[would love to see he's expression].
*bugged eyed n ready to faint*
haha..i'll die.
most probably.
maybe i'll go to macdonalds during breakfast hours n ask for a lot of those honey syrup that they use for the pancakes.
yeah..



the next gadget thing i want to have so badly:
canon instant wallet-size pocket printer
i want to print out a lot of photos
i saw somewhere tt it's 99bucks...
yikes.
cz i've limited myself to spending only 200 bucks per mth.
[since i made plans for my future >_<>
LOL. well. i hope i can make it to UK. or anywhere. except asia.
espcecially not SEA.no,not saying asia is bad.but im sick of Asia.

but first things first.i need to drag Eja to buy something with me.haha.just a surprise change for myself. >_<
From the bottom of my heart impure
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meoowww!!im a kitty
: 3:57 AM
*picture credits to anis* ;)
i really loveee it!


The Lovecats lyrics
We move like cagey tigers
We couldn't get closer than this
The way we walk
The way we talk
The way we stalk
The way we kiss
We slip through the streets
While everyone sleeps
Getting bigger and sleeker
And wider and brighter
We bite and scratch and scream all night
Let's go and
Throw all the songs we know

Into the sea
You and me
All these years and no one heard
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing
We missed you hissed the lovecats

We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully
Wonderfully pretty
Oh you know that I'd do anything for you
We should have each other to tea huh?
We should have each other with cream
Then curl up by the fire
And sleep for awhile
It's the grooviest thing
It's the perfect dream

Hand in hand
Is the only way to land
And always the right way round
Not broken in pieces
Like hated little meeces
How could we miss
Someone as dumb as this

I love you ... let's go
Oh ... solid gone ...
How could we miss someone as dumb
As this?

From the bottom of my heart impure
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creepy me
Sunday, January 06, 2008: 7:53 PM
this blog is turning out into a music blog!
oh no no...i wont let that happen.
this is my random crap blog.
so hear my crap OUT LOUD...


So I was tagged by Azimah[like last week XD haha]

Okay...here it goes

Link to your tagger and post these rules. List eight (8) random facts about yourself. Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them). Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.


1. i cant find my jeans in the wadrobe when i remembered i stash it in my little drawer with my books
2. i once kept seaweed[the packet ones] for a month in my drawer & half a cadbury choc.
3. i didnt leave my house[or rather my room] for a record of three days because i was mugging for exams.that's 72 hours
4. i finished my dad's one whole bottle of cough medicine & was pretending nothing had happened when mum ask where the medecine was...
5. sadly,im nt a vampire
6. i trash around in my bed for 4hours before i managed to fall asleep
7. i wish to stay in a hospital for a few days[not anything serious...but i just want to feel what staying in a hospital like...]
8. i tried to learn Braille but my sense of sight disobeys me.plus i needed more time in the lift.instead of the 13th floor,maybe a 130th would be sweet.

i kinda like this kind of quizes.
it makes me think things back ^^
so here's my eight ppl:
1)ana banana
2)uma

3)shahira
4)shashah
5)anis
6)jeanne
7)ili
8)hakim
i wont make it compulsory for any of u guys...
maybe it's just to waste time ;)

From the bottom of my heart impure
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Friday, January 04, 2008: 9:17 PM
do you know that i love uncle charlie chaplin?
i'll never miss his show in Art Central.
im so tired typing down what he said.
so listen.waste some time.



im sorry,but i don't want to be an emperor;tt's not my business i dont want to rule or conquer anyone .i would like to help everyone;if possible. jew,black man...white. we all wnat to help one another. human beings are like that.
we want to live by each other's happiness,not by each other's misery. we dont want to hate or despise one another.

in this world there's room fr everyone.& the good earth is rich. it can provide for everyone. the way of life to be free & beautiful but we have lost the way...
greed has poisoned man's souls has barricaded the world with hate as we step up in misery & bloodshed. we have develpoed speed,but we have shut ourselves in. machines with abundence had left us in want. our knowledge have left us synnical,our cleverness heart & unkind.
we think to much,& feel to little. more machinery,we need humanity. more than cleverness,we need kindness and gentleness. without his qualities life will be violent.& all be lost.

the aeroplane & the radio had brought us closer together.the very nature of this invention cries out for the goodness of this man. cries out for universal of brotherhood for the unity of the soul. even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world. millions of despairing men n women and little children
victims of the system that makes man torture & imprison innocent people
those who can hear me i say,do not despair. the misery that is now upon us is putting the passing of greed. the bitterness of man who fear the way of human progress. the hate of man who will pass,& dictators die & the power that they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as man die,the liberty will never perish

soldiers!dont give yourself to boots! man who despise u and slave u! who regimen ur lives! to tell u what to do,what to think,& what to feel?!
who drill u--uhn,i dun get what he saying] treat u like-uhn?-
...
don't give urselves to this unnatural man!! machine man!with machine minds!& machine hearts! u are nt machines!u are not-uhn?- u are man! u have the love of humanity in your hearts u dont hate or ...
soldiers!dont fight for slavery!fight for liberty!

in the chapter of the book it's written "the kingdom of good is within man,not one man,or a group of man!but in all man,in you you the people have the power
the power to create machines!the power to create happiness! you the people,have the power to make this life free & beautiful to make this life a wondrful adventure & in the name of democracy,let us use that power
let us all unite!let us all fight for a new world! a decent world.that will give a chance for man to work that will make use of the future,old age security
by the promise of these things,
but they lie,they do not fullfill this things.
they never will.dictators free themselves,but they enslave the people

now let us fight to fulfill that promise let us fight to free the world
to do away with national barriers to do away with greed.with hate & intolerence
let us fight for a world of reason.a world where science & progress lead to all mans's happiness. Soldiers!in the name of democracy!let us all unite!

From the bottom of my heart impure
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if only i were....
Thursday, January 03, 2008: 4:25 AM
I'd be thinner
I'd be taller
Go clubbing in my collar
With skin pale as a moth
Dressed in black, I'd go creepin'
While the normal folk are sleepin'
If I only were a Goth

With my hair up, I'd look fancy
Like Siouxsie and the Banshees
With silk or velvet cloth
Dressed in boots, never sandals
And the room would be lit with candles
If I only were a Goth

Yes, I'd wanna die
From the bottom of my heart impure
Would I like another clove? Well sure!
And after that we'll go listen to The Cure

I'd pretend to be a vampire
Like in stories 'round the campfire
I'd suck your bloody froth
Yes, the thing I'd be best at
Is impersonating Lestat
If I only were a Goth

In my casket purse I'm toutin'
Einsturzende Neubauten
And pagan hymns to Thoth
Yes, the world would be depressing
Over death I'd be obsessing
An'd this corpse that I'm undressing
Would be sexier, I'm guessing
With my diet I'd get scurvy
And I'd worship Peter Murphy
If I only were a Goth

*national treasure is great ^^*
so is Esprit Rapsberry
feeling trashy!!:D
From the bottom of my heart impure
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Wednesday, January 02, 2008: 7:13 PM


so the pictures below is taken from my hp
sorry far,cz last nite u called me for the pictures
i don't know why im so sleepy last night.
hakim paid for the food at Sakura.
we gave him the money to pay him back but he refuses.
the bill is like $45!!??where the hell did he got so much money?
bt thanks la... :) we promise to treat u back
miss everyone of u guys!^^
esp priteeba.so long since we met.

looking forward to the next time we could go out




















































From the bottom of my heart impure
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that girl in pajamas.
--emilina allan poe
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and more I admire
thy distant fire,
than that colder,
lowly light...

Deathwish.
become an astronaut
visit miriam at Germany
migrate
live life live
breath in out
nice grave with manicured grass
heaven.

screams/howls/
shrieks/screeches.


memories resurfaced.

The Necropolis
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